Fucking Retarded

Melancholy verses dance
From my keyboard to the screen.
Soft
Chill
Sweet music purrs from my headphones.
The dark room and utter seclusion
Belay this sense of loss.
The bitterest loss is that of almost.
Almost
So close.
So close to happiness.
What could have
And should have been.
But no!
She, instead, went nuts.
She fulfilled the stereotype
Of emotional maladjustment
To A Fucking “T”!
And hurt herself more than me.

That hurts more than anything;
To know you can bring a smile to someone's face
Light up their life
Make a difference
And have that swept aside
For no goddamn reason.
It is as if a person will only allow themselves one cookie,
Except its not a cookie,
Its fucking happiness.
They worry that if they grow attached to feeling good
It will leave them.
The person helping will leave them.
Its fucking bullshit,
And it fucking pisses me off.

Fuck that shit!
Be happy!
Do what makes you happy!
If its not me
Or him
Or yourself,
Than find out why!
To just blow it all off
Fucking blows.
A taste of happiness
Shouldn't be a sorbet
To cleanse the palate between courses of misery.
That's fucking retarded.